Published: 2024-01-07
We are often caught up in the whirlwind of our daily lives; finding the right balance between quality family time and nurturing friendships can feel like trying to juggle too many balls at once. How can we ensure that we're not sacrificing one for the other? Growing up, quality family time was always emphasized in our household. We spent a lot of time together, whether it was in the kitchen, at restaurants, or other places. My mom has always had a passion for baking and cooking; she would often come up with fun and engaging ways to turn our kitchen into a lively hub of creativity, from experimenting with new recipes to involving us in the joy of preparing meals. We traveled pretty often too as a family, as my parents found it very important for us to be exposed to different cultures and expand our horizons.
From my dad's recollection, here's how he grew up: "I grew up in an environment where we would have "daily family time" during mealtime. On weekdays, it was during dinner. We were not allowed to watch TV while eating or have dinner separately or at different times (only with justified exceptions). So, that became the norm. During weekends, I remember having lunches and dinners together whenever we were at home. We also had meals together as a family outside regularly, especially during the weekends. So, that made up our "family time."
"Now, fast forward to today. Our daily lives are looking a bit different. We often hang out with friends and unintentionally neglect family time in doing so. Family meals, movie nights, and weekend adventures can easily get shoved to the side when there's a more interesting hangout planned. However, when aware of the situation getting out of hand, both we and our parents try to work something out that works for both sides.
Dad adds, "We've transitioned to more "informal" family time, but we still have meals together without compromise. What's more critical is to have the opportunity to communicate and chat with one another, to find out what has been happening, and how we can be of help and support our children. And of course, continuing to shower them with love, assuring them, and always being there for them. We add "game nights" and "movie nights" to our schedule. And in addition, we also have "date nights" with each of them individually."
We have a chat group on WhatsApp where all members of the family are free to share their thoughts and opinions. For example, if I disagree with a rule that my parents implement, I can share my thoughts, and we as a family will work out a solution. The same thing applies when our parents think we aren't spending enough quality time as a family; they can share their opinions. Sometimes we even have family meetings and discussions about issues we have with each other, finding resolutions and compromises that strengthen our family bonds.
Kate (my sister) says: "I think that family time is very necessary, as we get to talk about our problems with the family. This allows us to get other opinions on what to do through sharing and listening to one another. I think more than once a week of designated "family time" is better, but at least once a week is healthy for the family."
In the end, striking a balance between family time and hanging out with friends is key, but it's not some complicated formula. It's about making sure that family and friends each get their fair share of the spotlight in our lives.
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